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Bobby Heenan commenting on Hoagan's entrance music
Heenan: That's my second favorite song.
Monsoon: I'm almost afraid to ask. Whats your favorite?
Heenan: All the rest are tied.
"Who's that, the windbreaker?" -- Paul E. commenting on Firebreaker Chip of the Patriots.
"ohhh yeah, dig it!" -- Randy Savage
"He's going to audition for the Vienna Boys' Choir!" -- Gorilla Monsoon
Jesse Ventura commenting on Uncle Elmer kissing his wife: "They look like to carp going after the same piece of corn."
Ricky Rice commenting on his 1989 heel change: "It's just like Eddie Sharkey told me along time ago...GET THE MONEY!"
"Who dat dere's gunna beat dat team? Who Dat? Who dat?" -- "Dirty" Dick Murdoch on teaming with Bill Watts & Jim Duggan
Bobby Heenan on some Jobber: "I once asked him what came at the end of the sentance... and he said "parole"."
"He looks like something that fell out of a deck of cards!" -- Bobby Heenan on Oliver Humperdink
"NO NO NO!! FIVE! FIVE!" -- King Kong Bundy
"Dusty Rhodes wouldn't win a body building contest for best abs, MacMahon, he'd win for MOST abs."-- Jesse Ventura
Paul E. commenting on War Games: "This is more dangerous than double dating with Danny Bonaduce on the Kennedy compound."
Gorilla & Bobby on the Rosatti sisters:
Brain: "I looked it up. You know what Rosatti means in Italian?"
Gorilla: "Sure. It means red, rich, full..."
Brian: Nope...it means lard.
"The Bushwhackers are living proof that the Three Stooges had children" -- Gorilla Monsoon
Bobby H. on the Ultimate Warrior: "This guy makes coffee nervous."
"Do you have any bald ice cream?" -- Bobby H.
"I can beat anyone, either male, female, animal, vegitable, or mineral." -- Jim Cornette
"Jimmy Snuka stood up, 25 feet in the air, drove his knee through my ribs, but did I allow them to carry me out on a strecher? NO! I got right up and walked out!" -- Don Muraco after Backlund announced he wouldn't wrestle the Iron Sheik due to injuries.
"Gene Mean, look at our body. Cameraman, zoom!" --
Iron Sheik
"I wanted to have a Vanna White look alike contest here, the only problem was, most of the girls who showed up look like Betty White." -- Scotty "The Body" Anthony
Gorilla Monsoon commenting on Nick Volkoff's singing: "If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!"
Stan Lane introducing Jim Cornette: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought Pee Wee Herman everything he knows, Jim Cornette!"
Jim Cornette introducing Stan Lane: "Ladies & Gentelman, the man who tought William Kennedy Smith everything he knows about dating, Sweet Stan Lane!"
Bobby H. on the Rosatti sisters: "I see the rodeo's in town again."
"Hey! Everyone look at me! I'm the BAD guy" -- The Dimond Studd
"I'm going to give Abdulla (The Butcher) a BIG Cactus Jack hug right now!" -- Cactus Jack
"Hollywood Joohn Tatum? He does at least 6,000 sit ups and 10,000 pushups a day! -- Scotty Anthony"
"Mucken Singh works VERY hard on his brawler's physique!" -- Scott Anthony
"The Patriot wears that mask EVERYWHERE! Even in the shower!" -- GWF announcer Anderson
I'm so quick,m Icould spit in the wind, duck, and let it hit the old ladie behind me!" -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
Bobby H on the Rossati sisters: "The only thing they recognize is a buffet"
"I'm just like a giant candy cane, the ladies want to lick me all over." -- Scotty Anthony
"Whatcha gunna do when Hulkamanina and my 24" pythons run wild on you?!?!?!!?" -- Hulk Hogan
Bobby H on Frankie (Koko's bird): "If he was in my house, he'd be in a shake 'n' bake bag."
"Take a one way trip down to Larry Land!" -- Larry Zybisco
"This is for all the little Stingers" -- Cactus Jack
"I love the scent of burnt flesh in the morning." -- Sgt. Slughter after burning Hogan's face
"I guess you could call that poetry in motion." -- Jesse V after watchin the Genius smacking a jobber with his oetry plate.
"What can I say about this move? Nothing so I won't." -- Randy Savage on the Beverly Bros' finisher
"Macho madness lives forver!" -- Randy S.
"Yeah what were you doing at Wrestlemania? Ohhhh yeeeeah I'd like to know. You weren't there to gloat were you? No I guess you weren't." -- Randy Savege on Elizabeth being at WMVII
"Missy is really a man. She's a cross dresser. She hangs out with Sammartino. They shave each other's back." -- Paul E.
"Hey, he speaks pretty well for a guy who just ate 2 lbs of crackers." -- Bobby H on Lou Ferign's speach impediment
"The Judge wont allow Pee Wee to defend himself and Pee Wee knows for sure that he can get himself are." -- Jim Cornette
"You cannot believe the mayhem!" -- Lance Russel after a Fabulous Ones vs Moondogs match, with over 1/2 dozen foreign objects in the ring.
Bobby Heenan on jobber Rikki Atakki: "Once you wrestke Rikki Atakki, an hour later you want to wrestle him again."
Bobby H & Gorilla on Chico Santana:
Bobby H: Did you know Tito holds a place in Guiness' Book of
World Records?
Gorilla: Yeah? For what?
Bobby H: He picked 1,600 heads of lettuce in 1/2 an hour.
Gorilla: Will you stop...
"You know why there were only 220 Mexicans at the Alamo? They only had one car." -- Bobby H
" Do you know Koko B. Ware's mom's first name? Tupper." -- (For thhe 20 septillionth time) -- Bobby H
Roddy Piper on Ole Anderson: "He's as strong as an ox...and ALMOST as smart!"
Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF announcer: "I see you got a crew cut...and the crew never came back!"
"The Barbarian's shoes are Hair Jordans" -- Bobby H
"He's so big he makes a beeping noise when he walks backwords." -- Jim Cornette
I'm just thisclose to that world's heavyweight championship belt." -- Rusty Brooks
"I'll hit you so hard you'll starve to death rolling." -- Jim Garvin
"Eventually, even a blind squirell will find an acorn." -- -- Jim Cornette
"I can't jump high, so I jump from high places." -- Cactus Jack
"Broken necks, splattered patellas, severed arteries: These are the things from which dreams are made of." -- Road Warrior Hawk
"It could be....Giant Baba!" -- Jack Tunney on who "Giant Machine" might be.
"I would wrestle Hulk Hogan when I'm 50 years old." -- Bob Backlund
"You can see the life LITERALLY oozing from his body!" -- Gorilla Monsoon
"Want a hot dog, McMahon?" -- Jesse Ventura
"Ever notice Hulk Hogan ain't got no hair on his chest? The only one who's got hair on their chest on their team is Cindy Lauper." -- Roddy Piper
"I told Sting that lump in his throat wasn't emotion, it was his liver!" -- Cactus Jack
"Just look at the way he hangs in mid air!" -- Bobby Heenan on a freeze frame of Typhoon
"They have Ohhhh what a feeling, but we have Ohhhh What a Rush!" -- The Legion of Doom on the Orient Express
"Real men wear kilts." -- Roddy Piper
"Tito Santana is like a cue-ball. The more you strike him, the more english you get out of him." -- Bobby Heenan
"The pleasure was all yours." -- Jesse Ventura
"I would rather hurt a man than love a woman." -- Cactus Jack
"I've hung & I've bung..." -- Hulk Hogan describing hanging & banging in the same tense
"Ric Flair, the Slim Whitman of Pro-Wrestling." -- Rowdy Roddy Piper
"Often immitated, but never duplicated!" -- Captain Lou Albano
"Oh, here he comes now, the May West of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper on Ric Flair
"$5,000 means nothing to me! I did about $5,000 worth of damage to that nose of his!!" -- Greg Valentine after being fined for attacking Ric Flair
"Jerry Lawler walks in here with his crown - DA DA DUM - Imperial Margerine - and talks about what he's going to do to me. Lawler, if you think you're going to beat me, if you think you can do ANYTHING to me, than you really are the king. King of FOOLS, jack!!" -- Roddy Piper
Gorilla & Bobby on Adrian Adonis:
Gorilla: He's quite lethargic.
Bobby: And slow.
"Tommy Rich, the John-Boy of pro-wrestling." -- Roddy Piper
"When's the last time you went into a barber shop and saw everyone there unconsious?" -- Bobby Heenan on Beefcake
Roddy Piper on Warlord & his facemask: "He mighta spent a couple years under the arena training young wrestlers..."
Roddy Piper on Jim Duggan: "Does the tounge hanging out help his balance?"
"It was my pork chop. But that's ok. I ate his dog food." -- Bam Bam Bigelow
"I look real good and feel even better, I make a burlap sack look like a cashmere sweater." -- "Ravishing" Rick Rude
"Ric Flair is out there crying, his nose is running. He's probably drowning from the size of his nose running." -- Roddy Piper
Bobby Heenan on Kerry Von Erich: "He's the only man I know of who can hide his own easter eggs."
"I see Sandy Barr got himself a $4 haircut...$1 for each side." -- Scotty the Body Anthony
"Aww, whats the problem, gertrude? You mean to tell me that you can't walk into a bar with a $100 bill on your forehead and walk with anything, either male or female?" -- Roddy Piper to a reporter who questioned Curt Hennig's sexuality
"I'm the only man you wouodn't want to wrestle...if I was in shape." -- Billy Whatson
"When we're done with you' it'll look like we set fire to your face and put it out with an axe!" -- The Road Warriors in their AWA days
"He has a lower occipital proturbance!" -- Gorilla Monsoon
"If the Gods could build me a ladder to the heavens, I'd climb up the ladder and drop a big elbow on the world." -- Cactus Jack
"Rowdy Roddy cut his locks; but don't worry woman, he's still a fox." -- Roddy Piper
"I see you have wavey hair....its waveing goodbye!" -- Scotty Anthony to a balding GWF anouncer
"He has a calsium deposit on the medulla oblongota of his brain, but he is a brilliant man. This man has a BA, an MA from Havard, and a PhD from Oxford. He's a brilliant man I tell you, Mean Gene." -- Capt. Lou Albano on Buzz Sawyer
"Thats where he had the word "Goodyear" dermabrased off." -- Jim Cornette on Dusty Rhode's birthmark
"To be that man, you've got to beat the man. Woooo!" -- Ric Flair
"Win if you can, lose is you must, but ALWAYS cheat!" -- Jesse Ventura
"Ric Flair, you once called me a woman. Well, what I want to know is, how does it feel to get beat by a woman?" -- Roddy Piper
"Nature Boy, whats that? Do you run around the forest like Euell Gibbons, eating bark or something?" -- Roddy Piper on Flair's nickname
"Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going. Wooooo!" -- Ric Flair
(After beating up Frankie Williams on Piper's Pit): "Just when you think you know the answers, I change the questions." -- "Rowdy" Roddy Piper
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